The Things We Do For Anything
by Holly-Anne
Summary: The things we do for fame, success, glory, money, fun, distraction, and most importantly, love. However, Derek Venturi has to learn most of this the hard way.
1. Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Life With Derek. Just a fan.

**Chapter One**

Looking back on it now, I think I could've done things differently. Things could've been a lot different, actually. My heart pounded in my chest. How long had I been standing there? I could almost feel the hard Earth pounding beneath my feet. It had been my fault, all my fault and I would never let myself live it down. I had to live with it every day, and sadly, because it was my fault, my mistake.

My mind drifted back to a day, ten years ago. I was sixteen, and my teenage years were going in a downward spiral. I guess one could call it a rebellious stage, mine might've been worse than other teenagers, however. I was sitting on the couch in my house of that time, flipping quickly through the channels. I wasn't too engrossed in any show that was currently on TV, nothing was on. I heard someone walk up behind me, I didn't need to turn around, for the voice confirmed who it was for me.

"Derek, Derek, Derek," she taunted. I rolled my eyes and threw the remote at the wall. The remote back fell off and the batteries scattered across the room.

"Casey," I growled, somewhat infuriated. It was just like her to come and interrupt me when I was having Derek Venturi time. "What do you want? To nag me about something else, keeping my room clean, putting the toilet seat down? For once, I have not bothered you and you come up and just…" I trailed off; I didn't know how to finish. …but the sad truth was that she did nag me way too much.

"You're right," she muttered, "I was going to nag you. …but you have to see, that if you don't start that science report, you're going to fail science. George won't like that, your teachers won't like that, and I'm sure my mom won't tolerate it either! I'm just trying to care about you."

I rolled my eyes and ruffled my fingers through my hair. "Whatever Casey, that's pressure not caring." I got up and stalked upstairs. I wasn't in the mood to fight with her now, I wasn't up for it. I was sick, not fever sick, but sick with guilt. There were worse things then failing science. Of all people, one may not think that I was capable of feeling guilty, but sure enough, I was. I walked into my room and fell onto my bed; my hand reached under my mattress and pulled out a black box. I reached into my black, leather jacket pocket and pulled out a key and unlocked the box.

I opened the box slowly, and then closed it. I walked over to my door and made sure it was locked. I didn't want anyone walking into my room. I opened the box again and pulled out a tiny zip lock bag. Inside was a white powder, you may have guessed it, cocaine. Don't ask me how, because it's still all a blur to me. I was about to pour it out onto my dresser when there was a knock at the door. I seemed to have jumped a foot from fright. I quickly put the drugs into my pocket and closed the box and hid it back under the mattress. "Yeah?" I called out so the person on the other side of the door could hear me.

"Derek," came Casey's voice. Again, I rolled my eyes. What did she want? "Derek. I'm really, really sorry. I don't know what's wrong with you, I think something is, do you want to talk?"

"No Casey!" I yelled. "Leave me alone, please. I don't feel very well!" I felt a little bad, well, not really. I just hated hiding the truth from everyone, but ignorance is bliss, and the less Casey knew, the less she'd have to worry.

"Do you want me to get mom or dad? Do you want some medicine?"

Good ol' Casey, always trying to do the right thing. That was going to get her killed one day. I snickered quietly. "Casey, please, don't. I'll be okay, I need a nap." I took the drugs out of my pocket and poured them onto my dresser. I then took my school ID and straightened the cocaine out into a line, and then, I snorted it. I closed the baggy and then stuffed it into my jacket pocket. It was all I had, I had to make it last. I laid down on my bed, just to enjoy my high.

I inhaled the stale air of my bedroom. How did I get caught up in this drug craze? The wrong crowd maybe? I guess that was it. It really is funny, I had no idea how I started. A friend or acquaintance asked me if I wanted some, to try it. I remember it had been so good, a great feeling. I was finally escaping it all, school, family, annoying ex-girlfriends, current girlfriends, and Casey. She was about all I could take. I loved to mess with her, tease her, I knew, sometimes I took it too far with her, but lately…

Hate is a strong word, so I didn't want to say I hated Casey, at all. It was just her perky, smart, I'm-way-better-than-you attitude, that I just couldn't stand. She was too perfect, in possibly every way, that's what sickened me about her the most. She never takes chances, she's too good… way too good…

xxxx

I didn't know how long I had been asleep, exactly, but I heard a loud pounding at my door. I opened up my eyes groggily and sat up in the bed. My head was pounding, I rubbed my temples with my index fingers and walked to the door and opened it up. Edwin, my younger brother was standing there.

"Hey, big bro," he smiled and winked at me. "Nora told me to come up here and wake you up, or see what you were doing. Dinner is ready."

"How long was I asleep?" I asked and rubbed my head.

"Casey said you came up here around three thirty and it's almost seven now. So, I guess that makes it three and a half hours?"

"Makes sense," I muttered. "Tell Nora and dad that I'm still feeling sick, I'll be in bed if anyone needs me. Thanks though, Ed." I shook my head and shut the door. My sniffled and my body was burning up. Was it the drugs? I never remembered them having this effect before. I got into my bed and wrapped myself up into the warm covers and sighed with relief. I could do this... I could get through this...

xxxx

I wasn't waking up very well, or at least not waking up without being interrupted, over and over again. Someone was pounding at my door again. I got up, I saw outside my window the sun was brightly shining into my room, casting shadows from the window's blinds to my floor. I suddenly remembered the cocaine in my pocket and stuffed it into the box. "Yeah?" I yelled out, to the door.

"Derek, it's me, Nora. We've got to talk."

I froze up. Did Nora know? What would she do? I closed my eyes tightly and hid the box. Think Derek, think, c'mon man. I swallowed the grotesque feeling in my throat and opened the door. "Hey Nora," I whispered.

"Derek? Are you alright? Casey and Edwin both said you weren't looking too well."

"Casey should keep quiet," I muttered under my breathe.

"Oh my gosh, Derek, your eyes are bloodshot, your face is flushed." Nora put her cold hand to my burning forehead. I winced. "Stay home. I think you're sick. I'll be right back let me get a thermometer."

Stay home. I think you're sick would be a perfect line if it was a school day. Instead, with it being Saturday, it means, stay in your room. No leaving it at all. No friends, no movies, no games, nothing. I could be okay with that, all I wanted to do was lay down, think, try to solve some problems. That's all I needed, to straighten out my priorities. I clicked my tongue and sat down in a plush filled chair in my room. I practically sunk into it and relaxed.


	2. Let's Take a Few Risks

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Chapter 2**

I blinked a few times and yawned, my vision was blurred. Hovering above me was a figure, a girl, maybe? Was it… could it be… it was… Casey. "Casey," I muttered, "what are you doing here?"

She smiled at me and placed her hand on my forehead. "You're sick Derek, and I told Nora I'd take care of you. She had to run some errands." She smoothed my hair and sat my head up. "Take a drink," she said quietly, and lifted a glass of ice water to my lips.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked her after sipping the ice cold liquid.

"Even you need to be pampered when you're sick. Even if me and you can't stand each other, you still shouldn't have to suffer."

"I bet there was poison in that water," I smirked and took another sip of it. I wouldn't mind dying now, especially by Casey's hand. She'd be going down with me, anyways in that case. I laughed, but then groaned. My stomach hurt.

"Whatever Derek, I'm trying to be a nice sister, and here you are, criticizing me, still! I can't believe you Derek Venturi!"

Yet another mood swing from perfect, Casey MacDonald. Okay, so maybe that didn't make her too perfect. …but I really am starting to think that mood swings and anger problems are her only flaw, but I guess all the good things she does balances it out. I smiled, victorious; I could bring out the worst in her.

I heard her stomping down the stairs. I shook my head and got up, I was dizzy. I was sick, and I don't think it was just because of the cocaine, but it did make it worse. I heard the doorbell ring; I stood up and balanced myself out by extending my hand out and leaning on the wall. I heard the door open and chatting downstairs. I stumbled out of my room and to the star rail, overlooking the foyer of the house. I saw Casey and her current boyfriend, Max standing there. Casey was laughing and flipping hair. "You're not impressing him," I called out and started to stagger down the stairs, my head pounding in my ears like a loud crash symbol that wouldn't stop.

Casey shot me an angry glare. "Shut up Derek! You're supposed to be in bed!" She started to stalk towards me, up the stairs.

I shrank back. "Can't touch me, Case! I'm sick, remember?" I loved to taunt her, tease her, and put her in her place. I sat down on the stairs and looked at her, the anger in her eyes; I gave her my world class, Derek Venturi smirk. "Can't touch this…" I started to sing, my voice was getting a little hoarse and I coughed, but I covered it up with my arm. Casey's small hand went quickly to her hips. I raised an eyebrow at her outfit. She was wearing a hot pink tank top and grey sweat pants. "You look like you just woke up, and you're wanting to hang out with Max in that?" It wasn't skimpy, wasn't bad, just slobby. I knew Casey didn't do slobby.

"I'm not planning on going anywhere like this. Max came over to drop off something for me that I left at his house when I met him there the other night, that's all! He was getting ready to leave!" Casey growled at me, I was interrupting her precious moments with Max before he had to leave.

I drew my attention to Max, we was standing in the foyer, and put a brown package on the floor. "Yeah," he muttered, "I think this is my que to go so you two can work things out. I'll see you Casey." Max turned to the door.

Casey turned around, her back facing me and ran down the stairs. "Wait, Max!"

"Yeah, babe?" Max answered, turning around quickly.

"I'm sorry. I'll see you tomorrow?" Casey smiled at him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Of course, Case," he said into her ear and hugged her back and then pulled her away from him and tilted her head with his hand and leaned in a kissed her lips, quickly before heading out the door.

Casey stood there in a somewhat daze. I snickered, "Love struck?"

"You're just jealous," she snapped back, spinning on her heel and walking off.

No, I wasn't. I rolled me eyes and rested my head in my hands. I needed something to eat. I continued the long walk down the stairs. I made my way into the kitchen and to the fridge. I looked around the inside of the fridge and grabbed the milk and then headed towards the pantry and grabbed some Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I began to make the cereal. Where did Casey go? I guessed she probably went to the basement. I shrugged and sat my cereal on the table and then walked over to a cabinet and grabbed the Tylenol. I took two, and then made my way back to the table. I stirred the sugared squares around in the bowl, but it just didn't look appealing. I shrugged and pushed it away and walked over to the couch and laid down on it. Now what? I had just started to drift off when I heard my cell phone ringing.

"Hello?" I whispered groggily into the mouth piece.

…all I heard in response was static. Great. Just like a scary movie. I threw my cell phone over my shoulder and closed my eyes…

xxxx

"Good morning," it was Nora.

"Good morning," I muttered. My head was clear. I was better! I laughed quietly.

"Are you better? Marti misses you, she's been asking about you all morning."

Morning? What time was it? I glanced over at my clock, 1:36 PM. I had slept almost a whole day, I guess that's all I really needed. "Wow," I whispered, "like sleeping beauty."

"Yes," Nora smiled and brushed my hair with her fingers. "Now, get up and welcome back to the rest of the awake and alive world." With that, she walked out of my room.

I ran down the stairs, swinging my leather jacket over my shoulder. "Hey world," I yelled, laughing.

"Smerek! Smerek! You're up!!" I heard her, my favorite little girl.

"How's my Smarti?" I said, picking her up and spinning her around. I put Marti down and ruffled her hair. Edwin and Lizzie were in the living room watching TV with Casey. I slid onto the couch and barged in on their TV viewing. "Whatcha all watching?" I grabbed the stray remote on the couch cushion next to me.

"Do you mind?" Casey grumbled.

"You had all day to watch TV, I've been sick, it's my turn. Please, Ed, Lizzie, Casey?" I jutted out my bottom lip in a sad attempt to make a puppy dog pout.

"Fine," Casey muttered.

I grinned and changed the channel; I should use that more often. It seemed to work on the first try.

Life returned to normal after that, I was no longer sick. I kept up with my cocaine addiction, spending all my allowance to buy the drug, I still fought with Casey, I still played all my pranks at school, I still got detention, I still lied… maybe not so normal. I was ruining my life. I snuck out of my house at night to attend parties, parties where I got more drugs, girls, alcohol. This was what being a teenager was all about, right?

One night I was planning to sneak out to go to a party. Everyone was asleep, the time was midnight, I had to be silent. I was walking down the hallway when I saw a light on in the bathroom. I stood still, I was about to walk past, thinking nothing of it when the door opened. Casey came out; she rubbed her eyes and then turned around.

"Derek?" she asked.

I looked at the ground. I coughed. "Well, Casey…"

"What are you doing Derek? Why are you dressed…" she trailed off. She figured it out. "How long have you been sneaking out?"

"A while," I shook my head and stared aimlessly into the dark. "Don't tell mom or dad."

"I want to go."

"What?" I was more confused than ever, at this moment.

"I just want to know where you've been going. That's all."

"No, no… I don't… no." I couldn't expose Ms. Perfect to all my imperfections.

"C'mon Derek," she giggled. "It can't be that bad."

"It can."

"You're always telling me that I don't take chances, and the one time I do, you keep me from them."

Casey was right. Right now I was keeping her from making mistakes. I laughed quietly. I was just trying to protect her… but it was her life. My phone vibrated in my pocket. I had a text. My friends were outside. I quickly texted them and told them that Casey was coming.

"Go get dressed, hurry, they're here."

My friends were laughing in the car. They were all wondering why Casey wanted to come. She looked sick. I could tell she was feeling guilty. "I'm sorry," I whispered to her, "I shouldn't have let you come."

"It sounded fun," she wailed, "but I was tired. We're so going to get caught."

"I'll take the blame."

Casey shrugged and stared out the window. We arrived at the party. Casey looked around curiously, it was a pretty wild party, a blind man could tell you that. The sounds, what everyone was doing…

"I… didn't… think…" Casey was trailing off.

"Casey, I've been doing a lot of bad things lately, I'm sorry. Don't tell dad, don't tell Nora. Please? I can't risk getting in trouble right now."

"It's fine, Derek, it's just a teen phase. It'll pass you soon."

"You really think so? Well, I'm going to go mingle. Have fun, Casey."

"I'll try," was all I heard as I walked off. I should've stayed with her, but Casey has good morals. She won't do anything stupid. Not like me.

The night dragged on, I was trashed, and everything was blurry. I was in a bedroom, making out with some girl. I was moving my hands up and down her back; I remember she was skinny feeling, like I could feel the bones jutting out from beneath her shirt. I didn't mind, I just kept on kissing her. Her hand went down to my pants, I got up quickly. "I don't think sho, baby," I slurred. I kissed her head and walked out of the room. I could hear her following after me. As a surprise it would be to everyone, I Derek Venturi was a virgin, and I was prude… even when I was drunk. Lip action was all I'd give to any girl, then again, it also left them wanting, waiting, for more.

I could hear the girl running out the door after me. "Wait," she muttered, "I didn't get your name."

"You won't get it either," I laughed and turned away. That's all I remembered clearly about that night, before I downed another beer. I didn't know how much time had elapsed, and it didn't seem to matter.

I woke up the next morning in my bed. I didn't remember how I'd gotten there; I guess Casey had moved me. I sat up and just realized that I had a terrible hangover. "Casey?" I saw her sitting in my plush chair, her arms crossed.

"We have to talk Derek, about last night." I swallowed hard, and laid back down on the bed.

"You can't keep sneaking out."

"Did you even drink last night?" I saw her shake her head. I rolled my eyes. "You're too good; you need to take a risk. One beer wouldn't have even gotten you buzzed."

"I don't care. I shouldn't have even gone. Do you know how many creeps were hitting on me? Plus, I saw you kissing on like ten different girls all night. You're just as much a creep as the rest of the guys.

I wrinkled up my nose and sat up again. "Look, Casey. People do crazy things when they're not sober."

"Yeah, obviously."

I walked over to her, ignoring the pounding headache. I knelt down next to her and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Quit worrying. You made this your business last night, sadly. I apologize for my behavior. I'm a guy and I'm sure if you got Max drunk, he'd act the exact same way."

"No!" Casey gasped, "Don't you dare say that! Max would never use girls like that!" Casey ran out of the room in a huff and I just bit my bottom lip. Somehow I should've seen that coming…


	3. Good Mistakes

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Authors' Note:** I would prefer reviews please. :D I've already gotten one, thank you, Chaylorfan. I'm hoping the more I start writing this, the more I'll get. Thanks again!

**Chapter Three  
**  
The new school came and passed, I goofed off in class, and pissed off the principal a few times. All in a weeks work. I was extatic when Friday finally came around. I had plans for a party, I'd be telling dad and Nora that I was going to the movies and Casey was running around the house hysterically trying to get ready for her date with Max tonight. I laughed, she was trying so hard to impress him, but I could already tell you he was just as head over heels.

When the doorbell rang, I went to open it. Casey was still in the bathroom doing her hair or makeup or some crazy thing like that. I kept chuckling to myself, and I held the door open. "Welcome Prince Charming!" I smiled and winked at him.

Max raised an eyebrow. "You're not trying to hit on me, are you?"

I clicked my tongue. "...and if I am?"

Max stepped back a little.

"I'm kidding, Max, come in. You're prude little princess is waiting inside for you." I let him enter and then I shut the door and leaned against the wall.

Casey came flying down the stairs in a pink babydoll top and jeans with white flip flops. Casey's hair was curled down. I would be lying to say she didn't look pretty, but I'm a liar and I would deny it anyways. I wanted to gag, to even think she looked pretty in anyway. ...but I convinced myself brothers usually were proud to admit they had a pretty sister. At least she wasn't as hideous, she could look entirely worse.

Casey ran into Max's arms and he held her tight. "You look beautiful," he said, rather quickly, I noted. Casey pulled back from Max's arms and spun around, pretending to model. Casey giggles and Max doted on her. "Beautiful."

"Bye Derek," Casey and Max both said as they headed out the door. I laughed once again and turned around to face my father, standing in front of me.

"She did look pretty didn't she?" my father, also known as George Venturi commented.

"I don't judge her like that dad, she's my sister."

"I said that from a father's point of view, why can't you say it from a brother's?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. Akward, and it would get to Casey's head." With that I ran up the stairs, not even giving my father a chance to reply. It was probably rude, looking back on it now, but I didn't want to discuss Casey. I threw open the door to my room. Edwin was on my floor looking up my bed.

"Derek," he was saying, "I can't find..." Edwin's voice trailed off and he raised an eyebrow. "Why is there this lump in your mattress."

My heart almost stopped. "Edwin. Get out of my room, you didn't even ask." I walked over to Edwin and lifted him to his feet and pushed him out of my room. "Learn to ask Edwin!" I slammed the door in his face. I grabbed the box from my mattress and put all of it's contents into my jacket pocket. I was playing with fire, I had to quit.

The doorbell rang again, I darted down the stairs. "Bye guys!" I said as I opened the door to see my friend Chris standing there. I ran out of the door before anyone could say anything and into Chris' car. "Let's go." I stared out the window into other cars. I could've sworn I saw Max and Casey drive by, but it had to have been my imagination. I bit my bottom lip.

I was more high than drunk by the end of the party, and I was sucking face with a pretty blonde. When morning came I was laying face down in my bed, naked, with a bit of blankets covering my bare butt, my arm was also laying ontop of something smooth and warm. I lifted up my head and groaned. A mess of blonde hair was caressing the face of a pretty girl. Her eyes were closed, and she had most of the blankets covering her body. I raised a puzzled eyebrow. "Oh, God, no," I muttered, rather hoarsely. This wasn't fair, I had just had sex and I couldn't even remember it. Ah, it was bound to happen sometime... but I had bigger problems on my hands, like what if my parents came in? Then I heard the door open, bad timing. God forbid it was Casey.

"Derek," Casey was calling and then stood stiff in the doorway. "...you have company. Oh my gosh..."

I looked over at Casey and closed my eyes. "I need your help. Please?"

Casey sighed with annoyance and put her hands on her hips. "With what? Getting her out of here? How old is she? What's her name?"

I wrinkled my nose. "I don't know. I know, I'm horrible, I'm a pig. Casey, just please... don't let mom or dad come into my room, don't let them see her, cover for me, whatever."

"Have I ever let you down?"

I had to think about that. I wasn't sure. I didn't care right now. "Idon'tknow," I muttered, all the words slurring together.

I watched as Casey closed the door than I sprang up and put my clothes on. I heard the girl in the bed stir, then the girl sit up. "Der?" she muttered, sleepily.

"Yes... princess?" That came out of nowhere. I didn't know her name, at least I could pretend...

"I need..." she glanced around the room. "Oh my gosh, it's ten o'clock. I have to go to work."

I tensed up, "Yeah, well, my parents don't exactly know you're here."

"They don't? Typical. Anyways, I'll write down my number, call me later. I hate one night stands." The girl got up and put her clothes on quickly, then wrote her number down on a piece of paper on my desk.

"I'll help you out. Wait here," I said and opened the door, Casey was sitting on the couch. 'Distract Nora,' I mouthed and pointed over to where Nora was. Casey got the hint. She was covering for me. I led the girl down the stairs and out the door.

"Who just left or came in?" Nora called.

"I... I... was seeing if the mail came..." I stuttered.

"Oh, okay... what were you saying Casey?" Nora trailed off.

I sighed with relief and ran upstairs to my room. Her number was laying on the desk in cute, bubbly font, was written:

_Derek,_

_I left my cell phone here, so you have to meet me again. Clever, hm?  
So, I gave you my house number: 555 - 3687  
How's tomorrow at seven? You pick the place._

_Much love,  
Sandy_

Sandy, I had a name to the girl. I thought Sandy fit her. She had said she was late for work, so I figured that was where she was at. I had just met her, just made a mistake. A good mistake, but a mistake no less. Apart of me couldn't wait to see her again, and that's a fact.


	4. We All Have Debts to Pay

**Diclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Chapter Four**

I met with Sandy the next night. She was beautiful and I told her that probably a dozen times. The downside, Sandy was twenty-one and I was sixteen. Not bad for me, hm? Sandy said there was a huge age difference, I was a cute kid, and that I should call her again in five years. She didn't want to sound like a pedophile, but she wanted to remain friends. With one graceful, manicured hand, she ruffled my hair and kissed my cheek. I bit my bottom lip and watched her walk out of the restaurant. She was worried about statutory rape, I told her it wasn't rape if you wanted it. She then told me I was drunk, I didn't know what I wanted at the time, same with her.

What a waste, it all happened too quickly. I put my hand into a fist, and decided I would never tell anyone about Sandy. I didn't want her to end up getting in trouble, we had just been stupid. When I arrived home, I heard arguing coming from George and Nora's room. I could make it out that it was something about Lizzie going to soccer camp and it being co-ed. Lizzie was thirteen, she could handle herself around boys, she was like a boy, right? I made my way to my room, Edwin was looking around in it. I stood there in the doorway. "Remember that talk we had about asking?" I said, my voice raised a little.

Edwin jumped. "Sorry, I'm just..."

"Curious?"

"Yes."

"Curiousity killed the cat, Edwin," I muttered. I let him continue snoop around, I got rid of anything bad, worth hiding the other night. I got onto the computer, Sandy gave me her screen name if I wanted to talk to her. She'd hate to leave my life completely, she thought it was wrong. She wasn't online, but an IM box did pop up on my screen. It was Casey.

**preppyprincess58:** Hey Derek. How was the date?

**hockeystudohlala:** 21

**hockeystudohlala:** y cnt u just cum to my room and tlk?

**preppyprincess:** I'd be smelling your gross Derek, smell.

**hockeystudohlala:** i dnt smell i wear axe

**preppyprincess:** I live with you, so my smell senses for you are more open than other people's, I guess.

**hockeystudohlala:** wutever.

**preppyprincess58:** WAIT! She was twenty-one?!

**hockeystudohlala:** yuh

**preppyprincess58:** omg. Derek, that's not good.

**hockeystudohlala:** shutup case i no

**preppyprincess58:** So. When... it happened... what was it like?

**hocketstudohlala:** um wut happnd?

**preppyprincess58:** You know...

**hocketstudohlala:** y cant u say it? sex

**hocketstudohlala:** i dun remember bad right?

**preppyprincess58:** Yeah, I already took you hadn't gone to the movies that night. You really are a pig.

**hockeystudohlala:** atleast im not a prude

**preppyprincess58:** Oh, be quiet. I'm not sleeping around with strange people.

**hockeystudohlala:** u say that now...

**preppyprincess58:** Shut up, Derek!

_preppyprincess58 has signed off..._

I got up and smirked and headed for the door. "Where are you going?" Edwin asked from under my bed.

"To see Casey," I replied. I left the room and knocked on Casey's door. "Oh, Casey..." I singsonged.

"What do you want?" Casey grumbled, the door opened a crack. I pushed the door open and jumped onto her bed.

"I'm bored."

"Oh, so you come and see me? Great. Go."

"The quicker you entertain me, the quicker I'll go!" Only after saying that did I realize how wrong it sounded.

"Oh! Derek Venturi, you disgust me."

"You know you like it," I teased.

"Get off my bed!" Casey almost yelled, tackling me, trying to kick me off the bed.

I laughed and fought back. I succeeded in pushing her off the bed, but she grabbed onto my wrist and yanked me onto the floor, I came crashing down next to her. "Oww," I muttered, holding my head. I rolled over and started to tickle her. "That's what you get Casey!" She squealed with laughter and I started laughing too. She was so much fun to mess with. Casey got up and began to attempt to kick me, I was stronger than her, so, generally, I was winning this tickle fight. She had managed to get up and begin tickling me back. We were soon rolling around the floor, hitting, kicking, tickling back.

I had Casey pinned on the floor again. "Fine." she growled, "you win."

"Good," I said, smiling victorious.

Casey grabbed my leg and I fell down on top of her. She groaned with pain as my body crashed into her's... but that wasn't the only bad thing. Our lips were touching. I scrambled up quickly and walked over to the door. "Gross Casey!" I wailed. I wouldn't lie, I was entertained. I looked back at Casey, she was standing there dumbfounded her fingers to her lips. I found myself doing the same. How disgusting, we were practically related.

I went back to my room, Edwin was gone. I was about to take my jacket off when I found my way back to Casey's room. I barged in, she was picking up some items that had gotten disrupted from their place while we were wrestling. I walked up to her. "I'm sorry," I whispered, she looked up at me. I extended my hand to help her up. She was soon up, and I stared into her eyes. "Sorry."

"It's okay, Derek," she was laughing. "It was a mistake."

"Still." I walked over and sat on her bed. She came and sat next to me.

"Don't worry about it."

I was staring in her eyes again. I leaned in and kissed her, a small peck, but a kiss no less. Casey wrinkled her nose. "What?"

"I don't know," I muttered under my breathe, and really, I didn't. I think it was all testosterone... but I leaned in again but she pulled back.

"I want you out of my room," was all she said, and I obeyed. I was out of her room in a flash. What had just happened, what did I do? As far as I was concerned, I hated Casey MacDonald. I clenched my teeth together, hormones! I blamed them. I crawled into my bed and stared at the ceiling. What a strange weekend...

xxxx

The next day, I could hardly stare Casey in the eye. It was too akward, I couldn't even tease her about her bed head. I just stared into my cereal bowl at breakfast.

"Are you okay, Derek?" Nora asked me.

I nodded, "Yeah. Just tired."

"Then go back to sleep."

Casey giggled a bit. I looked up at her and she shrugged. I looked back at my bowl. After breakfast I headed towards Casey's room. "Really," I muttered, "I'm sorry for last night. I mean, it... I don't know. Boy hormones, I guess."

"It's fine, Derek. I normally keep people wanting more," she giggled.

"Shut up Casey," I whispered, "you don't know anything."

"Oh, and like you do, Mr. One Night Stand?"

"I met up with her again!"

"...and she turned out to be five years your senior."

"Casey, please." Casey likes to play on insecurities, that whore... or well, virgin whore. Now, I realized she was just changing the subject. I turned and left her room, my mind was in a jumble. I went to my computer. Sandy was on. She started talking to me, something about a party, hanging out. I accepted the invite, I needed to get out of this house... away from Casey.

xxxx

Summer was finally here. Casey and I got through the kiss ordeal. I was 'doing things' with a girl I had met at a party, her name was Gabrielle, I called her Gabby. That was the truth, you couldn't shut the girl up, of course, I could, she didn't talk when she was getting enough of Derek Venturi. She was pretty at least, it made up for her excessive talking. I don't want to say we were going out, because the two of us weren't very faithful to each other. Nora and George decided to send Lizzie to her co-ed soccer camp. Oh, and I had a huge debt, but I couldn't pay off my drugs. I was stressed beyond belief, the people I owed money to weren't the best people to owe money too. I basically had a death warrant over my head. It wasn't easy living like this, I just couldn't raise enough money. So, I decided to do the unthinkable, ask Casey.

Casey was in her room, dancing around the room. I stood there and watched her, when she was done I clapped, rather mockingly. She shot me a glare. "Derek! What are you doing in here?"

"I need some money, Case," I blurted out. It was rude to barge in and ask but I was desperate.

"Money? Why Derek?" She walked up to me, inspecting me. I stepped back, it was like her eyes were boring into my intermost core. "You eyes," she started, I knew where this was going, "they're bloodshot, you have bags under your eyes, your nose is red..."

"Casey, please."

"You need drug money, don't you? I've suspected this for a while! I won't give it to you!"

"I already have the drugs, if I don't get money to my dealer, I'm screwed, Casey! Dead!"

"Dead?" she whispered. I nodded. "I wouldn't mind that. Now get out of my room!"

"Casey, please," I wimpered, I got on my knees in a begging matter. "I'm pleading, begging... on my knees. I'm scared Case!"

"This is your fault, Derek," she said, looking away from me. Her voice had an edge to it that implied she was scared too. "I don't want to be in the middle of this."

"You're right," I hung my head, she was right, this wasn't just partof my sob story to get cash out of her. "I don't want you to be apart of this too."

Casey leaned down on her knees to my level and stared me in the eye. "Derek."

I stared back at her, a piece of hair was hanging in her face. I took my hand and brought it up to her face and pushed it behind her ear. "Casey," I muttered and cupped her face in my hand, "don't end up like me." I got up and walked down the hall, out of the corner of my eye, I saw her still sitting there on her knees. I leaned on my doorway and stared at the wall. I felt something come up behind me and put something in my jean pocket. "Casey!" I laughed, but I turned around and nothing was there. I reached my hand to my back pocket and pulled out $100. My jaw dropped.


	5. Unexpected Love

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Author's Note:** Eh... I feel like my story sounds rushed. I don't know. I just get bored and write and write. If you spot any changes, you know why. Thanks, review please.

**Chapter Five**

Casey may have saved my life with that $100 she slipped me... but that didn't keep me from going over and over again with the drugs, partying, sex, and alcohol. Casey was worrying about me but I told her to shut up, it was my life. I was distancing myself from everyone. Lizzie came back home, she was silent and seemed to hide in her room, just like me. She was thirteen, what problems did she have? As I lay in bed at night I could hear her whimpering. Was I the only one? She drew herself away from me, my father, but especially Edwin. I thought they were best friends. I didn't know if I should worry about her too much.

My mind spun around, it was late. I stared at the clock, it was midnight. I closed my eyes, but I couldn't go to sleep. Oh snap, Casey's birthday was tomorrow... erm... today. I rubbed my temples and sat up. She was seventeen, I had turned seventeen a few months ago. I got up and seemed to float into her room. She was sleeping, peacefully. The blankets pulled up around her shoulders, the rest of the bed perfectly made around here. She even slept perfect. I snickered quietly, but I found myself laying on those perfect sheets, facing her. Casey's face was pale in the dark, but she looked so pretty. Oh, God, what was I thinking? I couldn't have feelings for my stepsister, Casey MacDonald, I almost gagged.

She stirred and opened her eyes. I froze up. She gasped and almost screamed when I quickly covered her mouth with my hand. "Shh!"

"mrek! whht ahhr bu dooorb," I heard her mumble under my hand. I removed it and raised an eyebrow. "Derek! What are you doing?" she glared at me.

"Happy Birthday," I shrugged, hoping that'd work.

"It's midnight," she growled.

"I know. I just... couldn't sleep."

Casey sat up, and I followed her lead. "You're creeping me out, Derek," she whispered.

I stared down at her comforter and traced the patterns sewed into the sheets with my finger. "I wanted... needed to see you."

Casey looked at me intently. "Why?"

I just shrugged.

"Same reason you kissed me all those weeks, months ago? Whatever."

"Maybe." I hated Casey MacDonald, or close to it, I couldn't believe this, at all. "I might've had feelings... no, I don't know. Nevermind." I stared into Casey's eyes. I leaned in and kissed her, my tongue felt the outside of her lips, which she parted and then did the same. After a few minutes of kissing I pulled away. "I can't... we can't... no." Casey was looking at me, her hair was messed up but she looked so beautiful in the moonlight coming from the window. "Screw it," I muttered under my breathe and kissed her again.

After we kissed I snuggled with her in her bed and stared at the wall, I felt her arm wrapped around my waist, I turned towards her, she had fallen back to sleep. I clicked my tongue and moved her arm and walked back into my bedroom. I couldn't do this, I had to get out of her room. I looked at her and leaned over and kissed her forehead.

xxxx

School started up again, we were starting our Junior year in high school. I tried to forget about that night with Casey, I could tell she tried to do the same. We didn't talk about it. When we saw each other in the hallways at school we didn't make eye contact, just walked right on by. She had to forget about it, she was still with Max. I had more drugs to pay off again, and Emily Davis, Casey's best friend was starting to catch my eye. Gabby had gone and left, like all fickle, fair-weather girls were.

"Hey hotstuff," I heard a voice behind me while I was at my locker one day. I spun around. Was that... Kendra? I hadn't talked to her in a while, not since we broke up the start of second semester sophmore year. She was such a slut, always wanting people back. She leaned against the lockers and jutted out her boobs. Not appealing to me at the moment. "How was your summer?"

"It was okay," I muttered and spun on my heel.

"Derek..." she trailed off, I saw her twirling her hair. "I miss you."

"Of course you do," I stared straight on and kept walking. "I've got class."

"We'll talk later," she smiled, clicked her tongue, and then I heard her high heels click off down the hallway.

That night was movie night at our house, a night where Casey and I brought a few friends over to watch movies. A little weekend, fun, school tradition we worked up back a little after the MacDonalds moved in. I looked over at Emily, and I could tell she was looking over at me too, periodically. I didn't want to look at Casey, I still felt things were too akward between us. Sam was sitting on the couch next to me, Max next to Casey. She had never told him, I didn't blame her. It was kind've like cheating. Right? I didn't know. Me and Max were pretty good friends, I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to our friendship. It was a one time thing... two time thing... anyway.

Casey and Max stared at eachother, with a sickening look in their eyes. Puppy love. I wanted to throw up, but I felt a knot tighten into my chest. I pretended to yawn and slipped my arm around Emily's shoulders. Corny, I know, but it worked. Emily snuggled into my arms. I smiled down at her and she smiled at me. I looked over, Casey and Max were deep into their kissing. I wondered if Sam was uncomfortable, that was his ex-girlfriend, and I was starting to be all over Emily. I looked at him, he just kept watching the movie. I looked over at Emily again and kissed her on the lips, she kissed me back. Casey didn't even see. Wait, did I want Casey to see?

I got up. "Sorry Em," I whispered and darted upstairs. I locked myself in my bedroom. I didn't want to admit it, I didn't want to face it. I was falling in love with my step-sister, Casey MacDonald, but only I would know that, and no one else...

xxxx

Emily and I had been dating for two weeks, but that's when most of the trouble had started.

1. Kendra was one of the problems.

"Oh Derek." Just like a siren, her voice was sweet but deadly.

"I can't believe you're going out... with that... that... loser!"

"Emily isn't a loser."

"You've really lowered your standards, Derek Venturi!"

"You're just jealous because she's not you!" I said through clenched teeth. "Go screw someone Kendra. Get out of my hair. Out of nowhere, seven months we break up and you're all over me again! The guy you dumped me for, was he not everything you thought he was?!" I stomped off, but I could hear a whimper escape her lips. Maybe I had bee to hard on her.

2. My second problem was Lizzie.

She had been crying hysterically, and God, I wanted to know why. Every night she was keeping me awake.

"Lizzie? It's two in the morning," I muttered, "what are you doing up...?" I tried to ignore the fact she was crying.

"Oh, Derek!" she wailed. "I can't stand this. I try to act normal around everyone... I can't tell Edwin..." Her voice was trailing off.

I walked over to the edge of her bed and sat down. "What Lizzie? What's going on? I mean, I noticed you've been acting strange lately and keeping me up with crying..."

"I can't say, Derek. I'm so ashamed."

I reached over to comfort her but she swatted my arm away. "Don't touch me!" she had snapped. I bit my tongue.

"Lizzie... if something is wrong, you need to say something. I won't judge. You're thirteen, you shouldn't be laying at night at two in the morning bawling!"

"My soccer coach," she muttered under her breathe.

"What..." I think I knew where this was heading, but I didn't want to believe it. "...did he touch you?"

I heard Lizzie inhale a sharp breathe. "Yes," she whispered, "he raped me."

I chewed on my bottom lip. She looked up at me, a glimmering stream of tears caressed her face. "God," I muttered, "that's so sick. You've got to tell Nora."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I just can't. Please, don't say a word."

I nodded. "Don't let this one thing bring you down, you're young." I half smiled and rustled her hair.

Lizzie gave me the same half smile. "Derek..." she whispered.

I looked over at her.

"...don't ever hurt a girl like that."

"I promise. By the way, I don't think Edwin would do that to you either." In no way could I ever do something like that to another human being. It was wrong, sick. I knew Edwin wasn't like that either. They were best friends, and a something stupid someone did to her shouldn't ruin that. Why tell me though? Was I the only one who bothered to care or noticed something was wrong. My heart sunk, I should've done something about it sooner, and I should do something about it now.

I walked back into my room and drifted into sleep... a dreamworld.

**hockeystudohlala:** hey sandy

**urgreeneyebeauty21:** heyy heyy derek!

**hockeystudohlala:** i wish u wur my green eye beauty ;) jk jk

**urgreeneyebeauty21:** we've been through this. i'm too old for you.

**hockeystudohlala:** we still had sex

**urgreeneyebeauty21:** i know. shh. that's our secret. lol

**hocketstudohlala:** yeah, yeah, i know does it matter? i have no morals right now anyways according to society or anyone

**urgreeneyebeauty21:** why do you say that?

**hockeystudohlala:** drugs parties... i dun even luv my girl

**urgreeneyebeauty21:** we all have those stages. i'm still going through mine...

**hockeystudohlala:** yuh i know grr i just dun understand...

**urgreeneyebeauty21:** is there more derek?

**hockeystudohlala:** yuh i think im falling for my step-sister that's gross right? i mean shes my step-sister

**urgreeneyebeauty21:** hmm... meet me tomorrow for dinner, we'll discuss this then. no date or anything, just, dinner between friends. i've got to go. call me, derek, okay?

**hockeystudohlala:** okay thx sandy

**urgreeneyebeauty21:** np. anytime. :)

_urgreeneyebeauty21 has signed off...  
_  
I had talked to Sandy about my drug problem, she was trying to help me through it. All I really wanted to quit for was for Casey. The golden child and the girl, I was sadly falling for...

3.) My third problem was that I was falling in love with Casey MacDonald.

I didn't want to love Casey. It didn't seem morally correct, I was with Emily, and Casey was with Max. The odds were all against me, I wasn't even sure if Casey loved me too. My head was pounding. I just wanted to sort out my thoughts and feelings. For all I knew, I didn't even love Casey, it was just my head and her games playing with me.

I did like Emily, but she wasn't Casey. I looked around the room and sighed. This was fair to Emily or to Max if me and Casey were to ever have a fling, but Casey was so absorbed in Max. Wait, I, popular guy, Derek Venturi was unable to get a girl. ...but Casey wasn't any girl... I just wished I could get her out of my head.

4.) I was addicted to cocaine and didn't have any.

I was going through withdrawl and I wanted to die. Another reason my head was pounding. I had promised myself to quit. To Sandy and to Casey. No way I was going to let myself, or them down.

5.) Not really a problem, but it was for the moment. I had to go pee, really bad.

So, I did want anyone else does when they have to do their business, I ran to the bathroom but it was occupied. Casey walked out. I stood still. "Derek," she grumbled. I found myself grabbing her arm.

"I think I love you." The words just blurted out.

Casey looked at me, puzzled. "It's too late at night, Derek. You're delusional."

"I'm not, I can't sleep because of you. Call me crazy." I pulled her foreward but she pushed me back.

"Max," she whispered.

"Do you love me, Casey?" I stared into her eyes.

"I love Max."

That was all I needed to hear. I nodded and gulped the lump in my throat. "I understand. I'm sorry." I pushed Casey away and ran into the bathroom...


	6. Too Much

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek.**

**Author's Note:** I love all you guys who review and add my story to your favorites. It makes me smile and makes me want to write more! Anyways, you guys don't have to worry about me getting writer's block because I have the whole story planned out from start to finish! I love you! Thanks! Another thing, there was a big problem I had with chapter five... that's updated, by the way. There was a whole dream sequence that somehow got cut out. It's vital to the story, so you may want to go back and read it, it'll be in italics, I just caught it while writing this chapter.

**Chapter Six **

That night, I had my date with Sandy. Well, not date, we were meeting strictly on business, of course. We were sat down at a seafood restaurant. To my surprise right when we got there Sandy cut to the chase.

"So, you think you love Casey, right?" she grinned at me and played with her hair. Oh God, she was taunting.

I chuckled quietly to myself, "I guess that's one way of putting it." My smile dropped. "I told her how I felt last night..."

"Oh?" Sandy asked, sounding rathered concerned, actually.

"Yeah. I got shot down," I said, adding a heavy sigh to the whole thing. "She has Max. I don't know."

"I'm sorry," Sandy whispered. She reached over and squeezed my hand. "A good boy like you shouldn't have to be shot down."

I shrugged. "I'm not all good."

"You have good intentions."

"If you want to use that excuse, sure."

"Not an excuse Derek, it's the truth." She flashed me a toothy smile.

"Thanks Sandy."

Another toothy smile. "You're welcome."

I supposed to get my mind of Casey I could throw myself more into hockey, like I usually did to get my mind off of things. Hockey always seemed to be the only thing going for me... but it wouldn't be there forever... sadly.

The rest of the night, kind've went normal we ate dinner, talked casual and she drove me home. Everything was a bit akward actually. "Bye Sandy," I said and kissed her cheek. I was about to open the car door when she grabbed my hand.

"Derek..."

I turned around, she kissed me. Just a quick kiss, a little tongue. Nothing really worth mentioning. "What?" I whispered.

"You don't need Casey. Look at you, you're going to be eighteen in a few months..."

"...and you think I need you?"

"No, but you could do better. Now, just go. Get out of the car."

I obeyed and got out. She sped off. Maybe Sandy was right. I had Emily, I could make the best of that relationship. Sandy was confusing me, there was no lie there. Oh, why did I have to be so breathe takingly hot? Sometimes I even disgusted myself. I laughed at this thought. Indeed, I was hot.

I walked into the house, all smiles. Just from thinking of me. Casey was sitting on the couch, crying. Apart of me wanted to ask her what was wrong, but I found it hard to look at her after what had happened last night. Curiousity grabbed onto me, but I fought it back, I wasn't going to ask Casey MacDonald what was wrong. It was none of my business, though I secretly wished her and Max broke up, for my sake, of course.

Me and Casey went through the next month not talking. Me and Emily hung out more and more, and I felt my feelings for Casey dissolving. That was an entirely good thing, of course. I didn't want to think about her. My father and Nora figured that me and Casey were just in some huge fight, and I guess in a matter of speaking, we were. Casey was also getting upset that Emily was spending more time with me than with her. I was her boyfriend after all and Casey was her best friend. Whatever. It was fair, a long time ago she dated my best friend. What a hypocrite. Casey was making me mad. Sure, Emily and Casey still hung out and did there girl stuff. I was wondering if Casey was keeping the whole thing about my 'I think I love you.' in front of the bathroom that night a secret. Maybe she forgot about, of course she didn't not with the way she was looking at me... but we couldn't break the wall between us.

One night Emily and I were in my bedroom, Casey was out on a date with Max. Everything was good.

"It's Max's and Casey's one year today," Emily said. She was on Myspace and I was laying on my bed throwing a ball into the air and catching it.

"That's cool," I tried not to sound interested. How had they lasted so long, with no breakups? "We've been going out for two months, has it been?"

Emily just responded with a mhm. Whatever.

"So, Emily, are you going to get off that computer and come and show me some love?" I laughed. No, not that kind of love, I wasn't going to pressure Emily to do anything she didn't want to do... but it was an entirely different thing if she wanted too... you know...

"In a second."

I rolled my eyes. What on that computer was more important than me? I was a little annoyed. Finally she crawled over to me and snuggled up against me on the bed. I kissed her cheeks and forehead until she finally lifted her head to kiss me. Emily was cute, she just lacked the social skills to make it up the social ladder in school. Oh, and she was a great kisser. I started to get carried away. I kissed the nape of her neck and then back to her mouth. It was cute how she giggled as I kissed her, and she should. She was Derek Venturi's girl, she could giggle with joy and all she wanted while I kissed her. Slowly I lifted up her shirt, just above her belly, and started to kiss it, I expected some resistance there, but there wasn't any. I went to lift up her shirt more, but she looked uncomfortable, of course, this was the perfect time Casey comes in, while I'm in the process of putting Emily's shirt back down. Needless to say, it doesn't look too good...

"Derek!" she says my name as a shrill sound more than a word. Her face is flushed, red, she says the following through clenched teeth, as if she's trying to control her anger. "We've got to talk."

"Excuse me, my princess," I whisper into Emily's ear and peck her quickly on the lips before I exit my room, closing the door behind me. "When did you get home?"

"You can't sleep with my friends!" Casey tries to whisper so Emily doesn't hurt you, but it didn't fully come out as a whisper.

"I didn't sleep with Emily," I groaned.

This was the first conversation we'd kind've had since the whole ordeal.

"It amazes me," she started, "how you move on so quickly."

I bit my tongue, and I bit it hard. She was frusterating me. "Be quiet, Casey. I can do what I want and what do you care?" I spun on my heel and closed the door and locked it quickly. Thankfully, my dad and Nora weren't home, they hate my door closed when I'm with a girl. I don't blame them, I don't trust myself either.

"Hey," Emily said, panic lined her brow.

"Hey," I muttered, "I think you should go."

"Casey upset again? I swear-"

"Shh. Don't. I'll see you tomorrow, princess." Emily got up and walked over to me, I kissed her then let her out the door. Casey tried to rush in but I slammed it on her.

"Derek!" she wailed from the other side.

Could it be she was jealous? My heart beat a little faster thinking about it. Was she? I didn't want to dwell on it. I chewed on my bottom lip and sat cross legged on my bed. What was I going to do about anything? Then my phone rang.

"Hello?" it was Kendra. I rolled my eyes in disgust.

"Hey Derbare."

"Kendra. Not now."

"Why? Are you with Emily?"

"No, just things are going on." I inhaled sharply. "Things are over between us."

"Give me a chance to prove myself."

Kendra hadn't let go of the whole Emily thing. It was hard to ignore her when she sat with me at lunch and basically stalked me around school. We had something a long time ago, but after she cheated on me... and I know I cheated on her a few times... but being dumped for the guy? It really hurt. Plus me and her had started fighting a lot near the end of our relationship. I wanted to care for her a lot as a friend, but it was hard to do.

"I'm happy with Emily."

"Are you? Think about it Derek. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

Click.

I was never so happy to hear a dial tone in my life. I buried my head in my hands. Apart of me wanted to cry because I felt so stressed. My school counselor was telling me if I didn't pass English this year, I wouldn't be able to graduate senior year even if I passed all my classes and took summer school. There was Emily, Kendra, Sandy, and Casey to deal with. Lizzie's secret was also my burden now. I had quit cocaine, but recently the urges for them came back, but I hated lying to my family. I was ruining my life... and I had to do something.

I also wanted to talk to Casey about everything and apologize. ...but apologize for what? I groaned. None of this was fair, at all.

xxxx

The next morning was such a blur. I was tired and it was getting cold outside, fall was changing into winter, and I was dreading the snow. Even though it did give me more of a chance to wear my pretty, spiffy leather jacket. I kind've drifted downstairs. No one was home, there was a note left on the counter.

_Derek,_

_Went to buy groceries. We'll be gone long.  
Please, you guys have been all over recently.  
Stay home. We have something to talk about._

_Love,  
Nora, George, and Marti_

I groaned, it was too early to be getting groceries. I looked at the clock, eleven. Eleven was early for me, was everyone still asleep? Including Casey? I scoffed, that was a new one. Casey was normally up and running the house. I walked over and leaned into my recliner and turned on the TV. Nothing was one except a few cartoons. "Why not?' I muttered hoarsely. I sat there laughing half awake and idiotically at the TV.

Lizzie came down the stairs rubbing her eyes. "Derek?" she said, "Where is everyone?"

"Store," I grumbled.

She ran down the rest of the stairs and sat down on the couch. "Are you watching the Looney Tunes?"

"...and if I am?"

"I don't know. You're just weird."

"Shut up. No one asked you."

"Why are you being so mean?"

"Bad night." that was the truth, I could hardly sleep.

"Don't let things get you down," she said, adding in a wink.

I half-grinned. "Thank you, Lizzie. Are you doing better?"

She nodded. "It helps not to think about it."

"That good?"

She shrugged, I wasn't going to pry anymore. Anyways, Lizzie had gotten up to go make herself some breakfast. I was proud of her, but felt sorry for her. She was too young to be traumatized like that.

I guess I passed out again in my recliner because when I woke up it was one o'clock and Nora was shaking me. "Family meeting."

Great. I hated family meetings. They had this pattern of ending badly for me. The whole Venturi-MacDonald clan gathered around the dinner table. I sat across from Casey. I tried not to look at her.

"Okay," George, my father, began. "me and Nora have been talking." He looked straight at me. "Derek, we haven't seen you around a lot lately. I'm not going to ask why, that's not my business... but I know you're up to no good. You and Casey have this silent treatment going on. We don't find it healthy."

I sighed. "What? Get on with it."

"Derek," Nora scolded, "I don't like that tone!" I rolled my eyes.

"That is why we're doing this. Your attitude, your sudden change. We're sending you to live with your mother. At least until the new year."

"What?" I screamed. I got up and slammed my hands against the table. It made a loud smack, it hurt my hands, but worth the dramatic effect. I hadn't seen my mother since the divorce. Only Marti saw her. I didn't want to see her. She was a cheating whore and destroyed our family. She cheated on my father, lied to her whole family. It was a disaster. Marti was too young to understand but me and Edwin wanted nothing to do with her, even though my father pushed for us to have a relationship with her.

"Derek," he said, trying to calm me down. "you have to have somesort of relationship with her. You have to accept this. You're not happy here. You and Casey constantly fight, you're distancing yourself from everyone, you're sneaking around the house, you're doing God knows what with the random girls you bring into the house, you give me and your step-mother un-needed attitude.We're not going to put up with it any longer. I'm driving you down there tomorrow. You'll finish up the year at her house."

I sat there and chewed my lip and looked down at my hands and laughed. "This isn't fair," I whispered. "I'll change."

"We've made up our minds," Nora said quietly. "This is what we think is best."

I don't cry, but I felt tears brim my eyes. I ran upstairs and slammed my door as hard as I could and burie my head into my pillow and cried. I felt like an adolescent girl who just got dumped, I guess now I knew how all my ex-girlfriends felt, without the breakup part. I actually think I cried myself to sleep.


	7. I Deserve This

**Diclaimer:** I don't own Life With Derek.

**Chapter Seven**

The next morning was hectic for me. I wanted to kill over. I didn't want to see my mother. My father wanted me to finish packing so we could go. I was sitting on my bedroom floor, angrily stuffing clothes and comics and anything else I could fit into the boxes and suitcases I was given. I jumped when I heard my bedroom door open.

"I'm sorry, Derek." It was Casey.

"What do you want?" I growled at her, shooting her a glare to top it all off.

"For everything," she said while walking over and sitting on my bed.

"It's too late, Casey," I grumbled. "Just go."

"What do you have against your mother?"

"She ruined our family. Cheater. She's re-married now. I just don't want to see her."

"Marti is the only one who sees her on Holidays and weekends during the summer. Why?"

"Marti is too young to know any better. Why are you in here? Can you just leave?"

"Forgive me for caring, Derek!" Casey pouted.

"You don't care. You're not going to miss me. All we do is fight, we haven't had a meaningful conversation in months! Shut up Casey! Leave!"

Casey gasped in shock. I hurt her with my words. I frowned, but I didn't care. I started to gather up my boxes and suitcases and head downstairs. My father took my stuff and put them in the car. I climbed into the front seat and waited for my dad.

When we started to pull out of the driveway I saw Casey race out the front door. I bit my bottom lip and looked at her. She waved, but I just pretended like I didn't see it.

"Casey was waving," said my father.

"I know."

He sighed. "I know you're mad, Derek."

"Not mad, infuriated."

"Derek!" he groaned, "I'm tired of dealing with your crap. Would it kill you to be nicer?"

"Yes, in fact, it would be."

"I can't believe you."

"You shouldn't have to."

The rest of the trip was silent.

xxxx

"Derek!" my mother cried when she opened the front door. I looked at her stomach, was she pregnant? Oh God, she looked like she might pop.

"Michelle!" I faked a smile and accepted the embrace she extended me.

"Michelle? I'm your mother, you call me mom. I've missed you."

I pulled back. "I don't consider you my mom."

She was taken back, I didn't care. "George," she whispered.

"Michelle, look, Derek has been having an attitude lately, I told you that. Try to straighten him out."

"If I don't, Roger will," she teased. Roger being her new husband, my step-dad.

My dad laughed. "Nice. Well, I've got to be going. Be good Derek."

I grabbed my dad's hand like a frightened child. "Please, take me home."

He shaked his hand from mine and stalked to the driveway. I couldn't believe he was doing this to me.

"Why didn't you visit me, Derek?" Michelle asked.

"Can we talk about this later?" I groaned, rolling my eyes and carrying my things into the house.

"Sure, honey," she whimpered, "I'll show you to your room. Your old one, it hasn't been touched since you left!"

"Joy." My old room was an ancient, pathetic symbol of adolescent years. Bland colors, black and gray, an attempt to being cool. At least there was computer in there. I wouldn't survive without it.

"Roger is bringing dinner home. I'll call you down."

"Don't, I'm not hungry."

"Are you sure, my little cutie-pie?"

"Michelle, please."

I slammed my bedroom door in her face. I didn't even feel remourse. I didn't want to be here, I was forced. At least it was October and I was only here until the New Year.

"I want to repair our relationship Derek!" She was pounding on the door. "Please! Forgive me! I'm your mother!"

"Be quiet before you go into labor," I snapped back.

I didn't hear anymore pounding on my door for the rest of the night.

xxxx

I ignored my mother for the rest of the week. I was enrolled at school by her house. I didn't have a problem making friends, but the only friends I seemed to make were people that Casey would probably seen hanging around with. However, there was a little surprise. Gabby? Remember her? She attended school here... and it helped me, a lot.

"My, my, is that Derek Venturi?" she clicked her tongue and walked circles around me.

I hadn't seen her since summer time when I decided to end our pointles, just sex relationship. "Gabby?" I faked a smile, but I was glad to see her.

"I'd be lying to say I didn't miss you."

Not the first time I heard that. I thought of Kendra.

"Look," she whispered in my ear, "I won't stalk you, bug you, but Derek... I think you need me."

"Just while I'm here," I checked her out. She was pretty, a tall, slender, red head, with little freckles around her nose. She was cute. Gabby smiled.

"Good."

That's how Gabby and I got together again. Emily called me every day and we talked. I did feel sorry for cheating on her, but how else was I going to survive here? Somewhere I didn't want to be.

One night I was laying in bed with Gabby. Her head was on my chest and I was stroking her hair. "Derek," she said softly.

I looked down at her. "Yes?"

"Are you happy?"

I had to think about that. "Right now I am." I wonder if it was a lie.

"Oh."

"Are you happy, Gab?"

"Sometimes."

"I see."

I inhaled sharply. "Gabby, if I bring up an akward subject..."

"Yeah?"

"Maybe we should get dressed first."

"No," she groaned, "I'm comfortable like this."

"Nevermind," I muttered, "I'm comfortable too." I stroked her hair and fell asleep.

The next morning at breakfast with my mother was slightly as akward as last night, just without sex. "Derek," she muttered, "I worry about you."

"So does everyone else," I scoffed.

"Derek, please."

"Michelle, you're..." I couldn't finish.

"Forgive me for what I did to you, Edwin, Marti, and your father. Sometimes, we just don't work out. Like you've never cheated on a girlfriend."

My lip quivered.

"See," she muttered, "you're just like me. That makes you just as bad."

"You're right... but I hate what I've become."

"Well, Derek, you can change. I was just too late."

"Michelle," I said quietly, "can I talk to you about something serious?"

She grinned, "Of course, sweetheart."

"I thought a couple months ago that I loved Casey..."

"Your step-sister?" she asked.

"Yeah. I mean, I'm dating her best friend and she got all worked up about it. I haven't really talked to her in months and I find myself missing her."

"Well," she pondered, "maybe you still love her?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't know," I got up an headed to my room.

xxxx

My mom had her baby two days after Thanksgiving. It was a girl and her name was Rebecca. She was gorgeous, and I actually took a liking to taking care of her. I stopped seeing Gabby, I wanted to turn over a new leaf and I had to stay faithful to Emily. Christmas came, I got a lot of clothes and video games from my mom. I wondered if Nora and my dad got me anything. I took pictures of Rebecca to show everyone at home. On December 30th, my dad picked me up and as I said goodbye to my mother, I actually called her mom for the first time in a few years.

When I got home it was different. Different in the way you leave and come back, everything seems so new. Casey wasn't home, she was at Emily's. I thought I'd drop by later to see the two ladies.

"How was your mom's?" Nora asked me.

"It was okay. Kind've fun. She had her baby, the pictures are on my digital camera. I'm going over to Emily's."

"Wait-" I didn't wait for Nora to finish. I raced out of the room and down the street to Emily's and I knocked on the door.

"Derek!" Emily exclaimed and embraced me tightly.

"Oh, so he's back," I heard Casey in the background.

"Hey Em," I kissed her lips quickly before heading inside. "Hey Case."

She waved and flipped her hair. The three of us sat on Emily's couch watching TV, Emily snuggling intomy arms.

"So," she giggled, "did you cheat on me while you were gone?"

I froze. "Emily. I've got to be honest..."

Emily sat up and pushed me away. "You did?"

"I'm sorry," I muttered, "I'll never do it again."

Tears brimmed her eyes. "Please don't cry, Emily. Please," I took me hand and brushed her tears away. Casey looked at me, her eyes looked full with betrayal, maybe more than Emily's. I got up and walked out of Emily's house. I was such a fool. Stupid idiot. I sat out on Emily's freezing front porch and shivered, I deserved this.


	8. Cain Wasn't Able

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Author's Note:** grr. I'm becoming frusterated. I'm not liking my story as much as I should. Again, I feel like its rushed. ehh. I don't know. I may re-write a whole new one when I finish this.

**Chapter Eight **

"I can't believe you, Derek!" Casey was yelling at me when we got home.

"I've been hearing that a lot lately," I grumbled. "Casey, please, just cut me some slack. I just got home."

"How could you cheat on her?"

"I got bored down there, ran into an old friend."

"Did you have sex with this friend?"

I nodded. "Look, Casey, I'm sorry. I mean-"

Casey cut me off. "She said, if you slept with her, she wants your relationship to end."

"That's fine with me!" I yelled at Casey, as if that would bother me.

"Derek!" Casey screamed as I ran upstairs. "You're such a pig."

"Then why did you kiss me back?" I snapped then covered my mouth. I'm sure the whole house heard that. I looked down at Casey she stood there, mouth open.

"Don't worry," I heard her say, "Nora and George are out planning for the New Years party, Lizzie, Edwin, and Marti went with them." I sighed with relief, but then she added, "Maybe I kissed you that night because I was confused... but I know what I want now, and it's not you."

"I see." I paused. "Did you... sleep with Max?"

She shook her head. "Not until I know."

"Know what, Casey?"

"If I truly love him and he loves me. How can you go and have sex with all these girls you hardly know? Sex should be shared between people who love each other." Her answer was sincere and she was right.

"Sometimes you get carried away..." I stated.

"Have you ever, really been in love Derek Venturi? When you said you loved me, did you?"

"I don't know." ...that was the truth. "I think you're beautiful," I began, "and I love everything about you, but I think I was confused." I started back downstairs towards her. "Do you think you love Max?"

"The same," she whispered, "I don't know. I love him, but not love him. If you understand that. I can't seem to reach a common ground with him. There's like a wall."

"Dump him Casey, please." I walked over to her and grabbed her hands. "Grow to love me." Did I just say that?

"Derek, how can you do this? It's just over between you and my best friend and you're trying to hit on me and I won't stand for this! Listen to you-" I cut her off with covering my mouth over her's. I got pushed away before I could advance the kiss.

"Pig," she muttered, "and this time I didn't kiss back."

xxxx

It was New Year's Eve. Nora and George were throwing a party with friends, but it was being held there. I decided to stay home, so did Lizzie. Lizzie still didn't trust people in public, really. Especially everyone there getting so drunk, it being New Years. She had just turned fourteen while I was at my mom's. We sat and watched TV, the time was seven thirty, everyone had just left. "Lizzie," I started, "have you ever considered Edwin more than a brother?"

"Ew," she said, "no. We're so close, I only consider him a brother. Why?"

"Sometimes I think I care for Casey. You know, more."

She smiled, "You have a crush."

"I don't know. I'm not right for her, she's too good."

"You're right, she is."

"Thanks a lot," I laughed and ruffled her hair. "I like talking to you."

"Yeah, yeah," Lizzie said, rolling her eyes.

Time drifted on, around ten o'clock, a frusterated Casey came crashing into the door. She was going to spend New Year's with Max. "Are you okay?" Lizzie said with concern and raced to Casey. Casey was bawling.

"Oh Lizzie! Derek!" she cried and fell into Lizzie's arms.

"What is it, what happened Casey?"

"Max. He tried to pressure me to sleep with him. Is that what you do?" Tears streamed down her face and she looked right at me.

"Casey, no," I leaned down to her and wiped away her tears. "never."

"I just thought he was sweet, caring, I broke up with him. He's just like you," Casey basically spat. I gritted my teeth.

"I'm not like that, Casey! I'm not like Max! I would never hurt you, I would never..." I trailed off.

"You already have," she whispered.

Lizzie stepped back and I gave Casey a puzzled look. "What?"

"That night. I was so confused, I cried forever. I had such mixed feelings... I blamed you."

"Casey," I closed my eyes, "please."

Lizzie took this as her que to leave, she went upstairs and claimed to be going to sleep. I figured she was just going to give me and Casey our space.

"I care for you, I do." I moved a piece of hair behind her ear. "Don't hate me." I leaned in and kissed her and she actually kissed me back. Taking a breath during the kiss, I muttered, "No one should be lonely on New Year's."

After a while she pulled away. "I can't do this to Emily. To myself."

"Emily can understand."

"No, Derek..."

"What Emily doesn't know, won't hurt her."

xxxx

We were in my room, she snuggled up against me. I looked at the clock it was twelve two in the morning. I looked over at Casey, laying there looking at me. We didn't do anything bad, just kissed and cuddled. "Hey," I whispered patted her head. She smiled at me. I didn't want to fall fully in love with her, I could see her hurting me or me hurting her. Maybe I was a pig. I closed my eyes tightly.

"Happy New Years," I muttered, "I don't want to be rude, but I'm tired. I want sleep." I smiled at her. She nodded and exited the room. I had to think.

xxxx

When school started up again, everyone was excited to see me again. I was glad to see my old gang. "What's up? Got a new girl? What about you and Emily? How was your mom's? New Years good? Missed you man."

School was worth it to see everyone. I hated classes I was doing a bit better in English, a D, passing. I just wanted to know where I went wrong. When I saw Casey in the hall, my day got a little bit better. I'd stay and tease her but we both know it was in good taste. At night I would kiss her and hold her, but I would always end up leaving her alone hours later. I was terrified, scared of being with her... but I think she loved me, just as much as I loved her. We kept our secret well until summer started.

One night was different... but if not this night, than what night? School had been out for a few days. Everyone was asleep, except us. I kissed her with passion, not too hard, not too soft. "You're gorgeous," I whispered into her ear. This went on, she was ontop of me, my hand on her back.

"I love you," she muttered between a kiss. I pushed her off me.

"What?"

"I love you, Derek."

I had been waiting so long to hear those words. So why was I taken back by it? I stared into her eyes and swallowed. "Casey..." I couldn't say it back, so I pulled her forward and kissed her. The rest of the night was pure bliss, to us both, but it kept my head pounding. I had my shirt slipped off, my hand up her's. How did this happen? I was on her, her skirt lifted up, my pants down... I think we get what happened. I knew, she loved me. It wasn't like the generic sex I'd experience before with some girl, it didn't just feel good. It was simple, soft, and passionate.

"Is that what you wanted," I muttered when we were done. I felt so guilty. Her arm wrapped around me, her hand rubbing up and down my abs.

"It's okay. I love you," she whispered, her eyelids getting heavy. She was tired.

"Casey, I'm going to go."

She opened her eyes and looked at me. "What? Just like that?"

"This isn't right... we're..."

"...not related," she finished my sentence and sat up.

"I can't love you, Casey."

She clenched her teeth. "Derek Venturi," she spat, "you can't do this to me. I sleep with you and you... and after... oh my gosh. I'm so retarded." Tears started to fall. I just left her in her room, crying.

"I'm sorry, Casey," I whispered when I got into my room.

I was a jerk, I was like Max. I couldn't bring myself to love her, fully love her. I wasn't using her, I didn't. ...but I couldn't grow attached to her. We could never work out, we were step-siblings. It wouldn't be accepted we'd both be hurt in the end. If not now, then when? I sighed. I was so stupid to ever think we could be together. Story of my life. Derek Venturi was a jerk, a loser. As I sat there in my room, I felt a tear drip down my cheek. A Pig...


	9. Demons

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Author's Note:** Keep in mind this is all Derek's Point of View, so it skips through days that aren't important, months sometimes and he just summarizes all that happens. Think of it as a diary, in a way. :)

**Chapter Nine**

For all the stupid mistakes I've made in my lifetime, sleeping with Casey was the worst. I had hurt her, I had hurt myself. For the next few days that passed after that, I could hear Casey crying in her room, ignore my eye contact, and shoot down any apology I attempted to give. ...and honestly, who could blame her? Maybe I'd do the same in her position, if I was an over dramatic girl like her, yeah. Then again, I was a prick.

One day changed my life more than it should've, however. When Casey came barging into my room a month after it happened, bawling, screaming. "Why?" she yelled at me, "Why, Derek?"

I started out sitting at my computer and was later against my wall, her waving some white, long, plastic thing in my face. "Casey?" I whimpered, she was frightening me.

"Look at it, Derek," she cried, slamming it down on my computer desk. "Look at it." Then she left my room. I swallowed the guilt that was building up from my stomach to my throat. I grabbed it, it was a pregnancy test and the result was positive. Great, just what I needed. My hand was shaking, I closed my eyes tightly and stuck it in my pocket. That night, I left the home I had spent my teenage years and left. Without leaving a note, making a scene, a fiasco. I couldn't be here. I couldn't have a child. Call me selfish, horrible. Yeah, I know I was, but I wasn't ready for this kind of thing.

I went out and lived with my mother. When George called her if she had seen me, I asked her to lie about it. My mother wanted to protect me, even if I didn't explain anything to her. I could only imagine that the police figured I had run away and I was eighteen, an adult, I could run away if I pleased. I finished school there, and while I was at it, I made a band. I remember the time when I used to be in D-Rock, Casey as my lead singer. I scoffed, if only... My band was made up of me, A junior named Eric, a senior named Curt, and my mom's, neighbor's son, Kyle. Kyle was sixteen, the youngest in our band, but he was the best drummer I knew, I was honored for him to be apart of our project. We named our band D3CK, prnounced Dee E Ek. Eric sang, and believe it or not, he was one of the best singers I'd ever heard, maybe even better than Casey. The more gigs we got, the more popular we became locally.

My mother was pretty overjoyed with the way everything was ending up for our band. Little Rebecca, my sister became my pride and joy. I loved to take care of her, but the more I was with her, the more my heart went out to Casey, she had to be at least four months pregnant by now. Did she tell anyone whose the baby was? Did anyone even know?

Despite everything, I became active with drugs again, and the money that came with our band's gigs, the more I could afford them. My fellow band members tried them too. Everyone except Kyle. He stated he had morals, and drugs wasn't one of them. I wouldn't admit the fact that I respected and was proud that he made that decision. One day though, our band ended up getting its' big break. A man heard us and wanted to sign us onto a record label. We'd be stupid not to take it, so we did.

xxxx

**Two Years Later**

We were famous, and not many people in bands can fully say that. I was twenty, and I was on top of the world. I had been on magazines around America and Canada. D3CK was living in California, having moved from Canada. We were famous both there and in here. Well, one could only figure. Me and Eric had been on the top 50 Sexiest Men list. My family tried to get in touch with me, but I told my assistant to block the calls, I didn't want to face my past. I was big now, hotstuff, and everyone loved me. Curt and Kyle didn't recieve the spot light as much as me and Eric.

Apart of me wanted so much to know of Casey and our child, but I blocked it from my mind. I had a different life now anyhow. I was welcoming the parties, drugs, and sex that came with being a rockstar. I wondered though as I laid in bed, did Casey see D3CK's music videos, hear our CDs and point out to our child and say: "Look honey, there's your daddy. Once, a long time ago..." I smiled softly as I thought of this. Then again, maybe Casey blocked me from her mind as much as I tried to block her out of mine.

Unfortunately, one night I was forced to face my demons. Me, Eric, Curt, and Kyle were in Eric's loft, drinking beer, girls at our side. ...and we all decided we wanted to know what our darkest secrets. Curt waved the girl's out. We were best friends, and just like girls, we had our guy talk. "So, Derek," he started, "what's you're secret?" They all leaned in, I was wringing my hands together. No one knew about Casey, no one knew about our kid.

"I'm addicted to cocaine," I laughed, hoping that'd break the awkward silence and they'd forget.

"Who isn't?" Eric scoffed, "Except Kyle here!" he punched Kyle's arm, and Kyle raised and eyebrow and rubbed is arm.

"Seriously, though," Eric stated, "we've all stated things, important events in our lives. The only reason why the limelight is always on you is because you're so secretive, Derek. Everyone wants to know what makes you tick."

I looked around the room and took a sip of my beer, it was warm, I dully noted, I wanted to spit it out, but I grinned and beared it, just like everything else. "Well..." I trailed off. I decided I wouldn't mention I had slept with my step-sister. "I have a kid."

Kyle leaned in. "A kid?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I don't even know if its a girl or a boy, when it was born. I left when I found out my, girlfriend, if you want to call her, was pregnant. I know, I'm a terrible person."

"You're telling me," Eric scoffed.

"I know," Derek whispered, "I just can't bring myself to face her."

As the days passed, I wanted more and more to talk to Casey, I wanted to know my kid. I no longer wanted to enjoy the fame, the money, the perks that came with being a rockstar. I just wanted to see her. She probably hated me, but that wasn't a problem, I hated me too.


	10. A Little Confrontation

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Author's Note:** Thank you guys, who've reviewed. You all make me sooo happy, it's not even funny. lol Luckily, I'm not one of those people who are like: REVIEW OR NO UPDATES. ...because its worth it too write, even if I have a few readers. Thank you, dahlings.

**Chapter Ten**

I made my way back to Canada. Only on that trip down did I really realize how popular, famous, I really was. "Derek! Derek!" I heard so many fangirls, and I think some fanboys cry out to me. I bitterly signed autographs for them. It had taken me a while to track down my family, but all that hard work was un-needed, they lived in the same house they had always lived in.

The walk up the driveway and to the door was the longest walk I've ever had to face. I had on a long, black leather trenchcoat, sunglasses, and a hat. I looked like I had walked out of a Sherlock Holmes book, as Sherlock Holmes. Well, kind've. I rang the doorbell. Nora answered. "Derek?" she muttered and dropped a glass cup she was holding in her hand.

I took off my glasses and looked her in the eye. "Hey, Nora."

She fell into my arms in a faint. I had ended up laying Nora down on the couch, draping a cold towel over her head. My father, George walked into the room minutes later.

"Derek?" he eyed me over to make sure I really was. "Derek, my son." He raced over to me and hugged me tightly.

"Hi, Dad. Can't breathe."

"Sorry, Derek. What happened... to Nora?"

"She fainted when she saw me, like most of my fans do," I laughed, but the joke wasn't funny for my dad. "So, uhm, where's Casey? I'd like to see her."

"She moved out," George said, "after school with her daughter. Some prick got her pregnant, I swear when I get my hands on him..."

I winced. "Easy, tiger," I whispered.

"Hey, dad, have you seen my-" it was Edwin. He was tall, his hair a black mess, and he was surprisingly muscular.

"Edwin? Is that you?" I smiled, "Come down here."

"Derek? Oh man! This is so cool! I have a ton of friends that want to meet you."

"Yeah, Edwin, that's nice, but I don't want to meet fans. Come give me a hug." Edwin raced down and hugged me. When did he get stronger than me? His hug was too tight.

"Wow," I laughed and punched his shoulder. "I've missed you. Last time I saw you, you were sixteen. You've grown, a lot."

"We missed you, I'd be lying to say otherwise," Edwin muttered, he looked just as surprised as everyone else to see me. ...but then again, who wouldn't?

"Where's Lizzie and Marti?"

"Lizzie is picking Marti up from school," George said, ruffling my hair. "I wish you hadn't left."

"Well," I smirked, "I have this for you." I handed him a check for $100,000. "For all the days you raised me."

George's eyes widened. "Derek, this is a lot of money."

"Dad, I have a lot of money. I can afford to give a lot to you."

xxxx

I was in my room, flipping through old comic books I had found under my bed. "Derek?" the door opened slowly. "Why didn't you return our calls?"

It was my dad. I shrugged. "I was busy, scared. I had run away from home. Thought you'd yell. I don't know."

"We just missed you."

"Yeah," I muttered, "I missed you guys too. I guess."

He walked over and sat next to me on my bed. I pretended to still be reading my comic. "How long are you staying?"

"I'm not sure." I shrugged, still looking at my comic.

"Well, Casey is coming over Friday night for dinner. If you want to see her."

I looked at him and smiled. "Alright, thanks dad."

He nodded and stood up. "I'll let you read, you seem pretty engrossed in that comic." He left my room. Everything was so awkward between everyone. We could hardly face each other. Casey was going to be here in two days. Should I wait? Should I get a glimpse of my... was it a girl? That's what my dad had said. What was her name? Did she look like me or her mother? My stomach did a flip. I wouldn't lie that I was a bit excited.

All night my cell phone rang like it was off the hook. My voicemail was full of people wondering where I was, inviting me to parties, some financial stuff, I just rolled my eyes and turned my phone off. I liked this feeling of people not knowing where I was. As long as Edwin, Lizzie, or Marti didn't say anything. Well, I hadn't even seen Lizzie or Marti yet. Marti would be twelve now. Where did the time go? I snuggled into my blankets, they still smelled the same way I remembered them. I swore I still could smell a hint of Casey's perfume, but it may've been my imagination.

The next morning I saw Marti.

"Smarti?!" I laughed and she ran and hugged me.

"Marti, Derek. I'm too old for those names." She stood up and placed her hands on her hips, matter-of-factly.

"You'll still be my Smarti," I whispered and ruffled her hair.

Despite her stubborn-ness, I knew she was happy to see me. She gave me a smirk of her own before sitting down at the table for breakfast. I inhaled sharply and sat down next to her. I tapped my fingers on the table, I wasn't very hungry, but Nora insisted she make a huge, feast-like breakfast for me. Nora was in the kitchen and Marti had her head on the table. Edwin was drinking a protein shake and then heading off to work. He was ten times the jock I had ever dreamed of being. Not only did he still play hockey and soccer, but football and he has a scholarship. I was proud of Edwin.

Then, there was Lizzie. She was rushing down the stairs in a pink miniskirt, a white cami, a jean jacket, and pink flipflops. Her hair was long and brown with a touch of blonde highlights. Her tomboy stage was over? She looked a bit like Casey, but apart of Lizzie took my breath away. She flipped her hair and then stared me in the eye. "Derek?" she whispered. I stood up and she tackled me with a hug. "You broke Casey's heart."

I nodded and pulled Lizzie away from the embrace. "I know."

"I know the baby is your's," she whispered in my ear, "but its okay. I've kept your guys' secret."

"Thanks," I said.

Lizzie smiled and spun on her heel and sat at the table.

"Hey, Liz," I said quietly, "you got really pretty."

Lizzie nodded, "I know Derek. ...but I'm not like Casey. I'm not going to fall for you because you compliment me."

"Casey wasn't like that either," I added. ...and she wasn't. Casey and mine's relationship was just different. We were confused about eachother.

"Hey, Lizzie. Does that whole thing... still, you know... get you down?"

Lizzie shook her head. "I'm over it Derek, you can't let things get you down." She winked at me. I remembered saying that to her.

"Were you and Edwin ever like me and Casey?"

Lizzie shook her head. "We kissed once, a long time ago, then we realized we were just good friends. Did you know Edwin is engaged?" She laughed, "It's a secret though. You see, George hates the girl. Thinks she's too obnoxious. Seeing though, as you've kept the secrets about you and Casey you can keep a secret about Edwin."

I nodded, "God knows that."

"By the way, George told Casey you're going to be here Friday."

I paused. "What did she say to that?"

"Nothing. She said she's still coming."

I sighed with relief. "Good. I think me and her need to talk."

"You're probably right."

xxxx

Friday night was as awkward as ever. I was shaking and sweating, I closed my eyes tightly. I was going to meet a little person that was my own flesh and blood. She would be... how old? Two and a half? Would she like me? Does she know me as her father? I could feel the blood racing in my veins. I was Derek Venturi, I was famous, every girl wanted me, I was rich, and I had a kid. What would the press say when they found out about this? Wait, was I really thinking about this? Was I more worried about my reputation than my own step-sister, her feelings and my kid?

I ran my hand through my hair. I jumped when I heard the doorbell ring. I debated sneaking out the window, but I wasn't juvenille anymore. I had to face my past. I had to face everything I had ever feared in my life... and that thing was Casey.

I heard chattering downstairs as I opened my once bedroom door and stepped out into the hall. I started down the stairs. I was halfway down when I made eye contact with Casey. I waved slowly. "Hi," was the only thing that escaped my lips.

Then I heard another voice. "Oh my gosh! No way! You're Derek Venturi! My kid sister loves you. I knew that Casey's family was Venturi's and that she had a step-brother, but I never knew that you were _the_ Derek Venturi! This is so cool. Can I have an autograph maybe?" The man grabbed a piece of paper out of his pocket and then wrapped his arms around Casey's waist and kissed her cheek. "This is so cool, baby," he whispered in her ear. My heart sunk, but I could understand how she could've moved on from me. In a way, so did I. How many girls have I slept with since I had become somewhat of an idol? Yeah, I couldn't count. Casey probably thought of herself as another notch on my belt as sad as it was, in a way she was correct. The more I thought about it, the more I figured, I had cared for her a long time ago, and the only reason I felt this way was because of the history together... and maybe for the fact that Casey had been my first love. Maybe the only girl I've ever loved. That was three years ago, and I had to face that a lot of that wasn't there anymore. So, I focused back on her boyfriend's question.

I sighed. "Yeah, I'm the one, the only. I'll be pleased to give you my autograph."

"Maggie is going to love this so much. Thank you."

I nodded and continued downstairs.

"Mommy?" the voice was so little, so quiet, and so high pitched. My heart raced. A little bundle sat up on the couch and looked around.

Casey looked over at me as she walked over to the little girl. "Hey baby," Casey cooed at the little girl and picked her up. Surprisingly, she looked like me, my mouth, nose, but she had Casey's blue eyes, the same kindness and beauty that Casey had showed in them. The girl's hair was dark, like Nora's color, but her hair was long and had the most gorgeous little ringlet curls. "Meet Uncle Derek." Casey said, the girl in her arms as she walked over to me.

_Uncle Derek. _The words hit me hard, maybe it was best if that's the only way this child knew me. Maybe I was never meant to father this child.

"Hi," I muttered and poked her nose. The girl giggled.

"Her name is Daphne," Casey said looking me in the eye. "Too bad her father was never around for her." The last words were like a stab in the chest, funny, because I think they were supposed to be.

"Some guys are just pricks," Casey's boyfriend added and then extended his hand for me to shake. "I'm Kent Torell by the way. Pleased to meet you Mr. Venturi. Its such an honor."

I nodded and signed his paper for him. Wow, this was going to be a long night. I turned my attention back to Daphne. "Can I hold her, Casey?"

Casey nodded, I think against her better judgement, she understood. I could tell she was the same old Casey I'd always known. She handed Daphne to me and I just smiled. "Hey there, cutie." Memories of holding Marti came rushing back to me. The same with Rebecca. I stared at Daphne and smiled. She giggled and hugged me tight around the neck. I could see Casey with her arms crossed and a half-smile on her face.

"Au natural," she whispered, barely audible, but I heard it anyways.


	11. Twists and Turns

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much for the reviews, I'd reply them, and will if I'm not busy. :) Thank you, muches. mwah! This chapter is a little short, sorry! There's something big coming up in the next one, for a little tease. heehee.

**Chapter Eleven**

George and I were in the kitchen getting some snacks for everyone in the living room. We were all catching up, watching TV, family stuff, I guess. I really didn't like Kent though. He was business man, seemed snobby, and was a little too chatty. I thought girls were supposed to be the chatty ones. He hardly let Casey say anything!

"Daphne really likes you," George stated, right to the point.

"I guess." I wanted to snicker. I remember Marti's old imaginary friend when she was little was named Daphne. I do also remember Casey really liked that name too.

"She doesn't take to strangers to well... but she went right to you. Must've known you were family."

"Maybe more," I muttered under my breath. George heard me, I guess because he looked at me. I replied with a, "Nothing."

I gathered up the bowels of chips, dip, and pretzels and headed into the living room and placed them on the coffee table. George followed me with some canned sodas. "Derek!" Lizzie smiled and grabbed my hand. "We were just talking about you." She led me to the couch between her, Edwin, Nora, and Marti. "Tell us about your band, about being famous."

I smirked. "Alright... well-"

I was cut off by Casey, her hands on her hips. "Pray, do tell us about Hollywood and the rich and famous, Derek." Anyone could hint the anger, sarcasm, and bitterness in her voice. Or maybe, it was just me.

I looked up at her, she was standing in front of me. "Sure..." I trailed off. I explained where I went when I ran away, my band, how we met, how we got our first record deal.

"Why did you run away Derek," Marti asked me. Her dark brown eyes searching mine.

"I had to get away," I replied quietly while I wrung my hands together uncomfortably. "You see, I felt like I was meant for more."

"You were, we all knew you were," someone patted my head. I turned around and saw my dad. I didn't know he was standing there behind me. "You just had us all worried. The police said you ran away, you were eighteen, we could let you go."

"It was hard," Edwin muttered, "hard to wake up knowing you weren't with us."

"Yeah," Nora said, clicking her tongue. "then we found out Casey was pregnant a few months later. She was so ashamed but we helped her through it. She said she made a mistake. Still don't know who the father is. Casey wouldn't let us get a DNA test or anything. Said she didn't want to know."

"Were you really with that many guys, Casey?" I asked her a bit sternly, raising an eyebrow.

"Two or three," she said through clenched teeth. "Not that I'd expect you to understand."

"Surprise me," I growled.

George laughed, "Look at them, can't even get along when they're all grown up!"

They were all so stupid, so naive. As if they couldn't tell what was in front of them all along. Casey didn't want a freaking DNA test to protect me. My lips quivered and my body shook, in anger, but I controlled it. I stared over at Casey, she was shaking her head.

"Enough about Derek," she laughed softly, "I think everyone should know, that me and Kent are engaged." She smiled at him and he came over and wrapped his arms around her.

"Yes! Finally she accepted. Hard to convince her. Me, Casey, and little Daphne are all going to be a family." Casey grinned and pecked Kent on the lips. I gritted my teeth. Not if I had anything to do with this.

xxxx

The night dragged on. Most of the night I stayed on my recliner, my arms crossed, and my feet on the coffee table. Casey and Kent decided to spend the night. They'd sleep in Casey's old room, which was now Marti's and Marti would sleep on the couch since her old room was now storage space. I guess I fell asleep on my recliner because I woke up to things clattering around. It was Casey, she was cleaning up the snacks, discarded plates, trash, etc... just being Casey. She put her finger to her lips, "Shh. Marti is sleeping."

I shrugged and got up. I helped her pick up the items. We soon found ourselves alone in the kitchen. It was the only time I had been able to talk to her so far. "Casey," I said softly, "I'm sorry. So sorry."

"You leave me with a baby," she said, in anger, but a hushed tone. "You ditch me and I have to lie to everyone. Then, out of nowhere I see you everywhere! On magazines, on TV, on the radio. Suddenly you're everywhere... then so far away."

"I didn't mean-"

She wasn't done. "I wanted to go to college, do something with my life. Then, I met Kent. He's well off and he loves me!"

"I have money! I'll give you some, I'll write you a check! Don't marry this man!" I said, almost yelling, but controlling myself due to everyone sleeping.

"I don't want your money! I'm happy now, Derek!"

"Are you? Are you really? Do you even love him, Casey?"

Casey clenched her teeth and glared at me. "You're not in my life anymore, Derek. You never should've been in my life."

"Casey, answer the question. Don't marry him unless you love him. I want you happy." My voice was trying to reason, plead with her.

"My happiness left when you did."

Then she left the room, and I sat down on the floor and cried.

xxxx

Casey left the next day, she didn't say a word to me or let me say a word to Daphne.

"Fighting again?" Lizzie somewhat giggled, but when I shot her an angry glare, she realized that it wasn't funny. "I'm sorry."

I inhaled sharply. "She doesn't love him, she just wants an escape."

"Don't we all?" Lizzie whispered, running her long fingers through her hair. "Maybe that's why Edwin is engaged. Maybe that's why you ran away. Maybe that's even why Nora married George."

Lizzie was totally right. We all had our secrets in this family. The only one safe was Marti. If that was even true. Me and Casey had a kid together, Casey was marrying a man she only wanted moral support from, our parents married to escape the past and start anew, Lizzie was raped, and no one liked Edwin's girlfriend, now fiancee. Wow, we were just like any dysfunctional family. We appeared perfect but were all hiding something from each other. Except I was in the loop for everything.

I went upstairs to my room, Lizzie followed me. "Derek," she whispered and walked over and sat on my bed. "I have a confession. I'm trying to escape something too."

"I know, that-"

Like Casey always does, she cut me off. Must be a MacDonald girl thing. "Not that, I loved you. Ever since you moved in. I mean, Casey never appreciated you. As a matter of fact, I think she hated you."

I chewed on my lip. "You..." I trailed off, "love..." I couldn't finish the sentence. No, this wasn't right.

"Derek. I've the one whose always admired you. I thought Edwin could be you, but he's not. You're the only Derek Venturi. I knew you hurt Casey, I didn't want to get hurt either," her eyes were begging, her voice quivering, and I think I heard her heart pounding. "...but I just hurt Edwin. We were all just going for the wrong people..."

"Oh God," I said under my breath, "Edwin did love you, you just..."

"Shh, please," she placed her index finger on my lips. "look, I'm no Casey. I know you loved her. She loved you eventually, couldn't stop talking to you, but, it hurt me so bad. I kept your secret because I loved you."

I scratched the back of my neck. "Lizzie..." but before I could finish, I felt her soft lips cover mine. ...and the testosterone in me, didn't resist.


	12. Bitter News

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Author's Note:** Sorry, this chapter is a little short. I think the next chapter will be the last chapter. Thank you, all my readers.

**Chapter Twelve**

The only MacDonald I'd haven't had sex with was Nora by then. I was so stupid, but Lizzie was completely legal at eighteen, and three years wasn't that bad of a difference. Right? My heart was pounding, Lizzie was next to me, sleeping peacefully, I glanced at the clock on the nightstand, 3:46 in the morning. Then, I heard my phone vibrate. I picked it up.

"Hello?" I whispered, trying not to wake Lizzie.

"Derek," the voice on the other end was hoarse, "its Casey."

"Casey?" I got up, and grabbed my pants and put them on quickly, and then raced into the bathroom to talk. "Yeah?"

"Derek, I can't take this."

"Casey?"

"I'm sorry, and once a long time ago, I did have feelings for you, and I knew you were scared of falling in love with me."

"Casey, I can give you money..."

"I don't need money, Derek. I just want you to know, I'm glad I met you. Even if I was just another one of your fangirls."

Her words stung me, she wasn't. "I was scared of loving you, Casey, but I loved you anyways." ...but the line was dead. The dial tone rang in my ears. Everything Casey had said to me was worrying me. I tried calling the number back, but no one picked up. I rubbed my eyes and sat on the bathroom floor, I fell alseep in there.

xxxx

The next day, Nora was shaking me, tears in her eyes. I raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, Derek!" she cried and leaned down and held me in her arms. "We've all been looking for you, how you fell alseep in the bathroom, I have no clue."

"What's wrong?" I tried to ignore the pounding in my chest and the constant thought in the back of my mind, I think I knew.

"Its Casey," she muttered, "brace yourself."

She explained it to me, what had happened. Casey had killed herself after the phone call last night. She overdosed on pills. I was silent, breathless, and unemotionless. I felt like I was in shock, and I probably was. Apart of me wanted to die with her. What about Daphne? That ugly, cocky, Kent guy? How could Casey be so selfish?

"She left a note," Nora had continued after the story. I looked at her with curiousity. "It said that she was unhappy, that the argument with you, made her think. Oh, and she wants you take Daphne."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Oh." Was all I could say. I left the house without saying anything for the second time in my life. I went back to Los Angeles the next day. People were all over me.

"See your kid?" Eric pestered. I just nodded, and didn't reply. I blocked everyone out. Casey's funeral, I found out was to be held exactly a week after her death. I left the day before, I had to at least pay my respects. I held a boquet of daisies in one hand and in the other my leather jacket. I also wore a black tux. I hid behind a tree and watched. I didn't want my family to see me. Didn't want them to ask questions, but my eyes stayed focused on Daphne the whole time. She didn't, couldn't fully understand what was going on. She needed me, and God, did I need her.

Soon the funeral was over and everyone cleared out. I walked over and knealt down and laid the boquet of daisies on her grave and wrapped my jacket around her tombstone. "So, you're never cold," I whispered. One, single tear fell onto the loose Earth. I wished it was an ongoing bad dream. Casey was meant for so much more, it should've been me in her place and her in mine. She should've gone off and been successful, not me. Nothing was fair. Casey always would say I would be the death of her. As it turned out, I was. Irony.

"Derek," a warm hand gripped my shoulder and I turned around. It was Lizzie. "You should've stayed, we needed you."

"I know," I whispered.

xxxx

"Nora, please. I need her." I muttered.

"Derek, you're a rockstar, you can't raise a child. She's the only part of Casey we have left." George muttered, holding hard onto Nora's hand.

Lizzie stared me in the eye. "Tell them," she mouthed.

"Nora, George, listen to me. I have right to take care of Daphne. That was as Casey's last wish. She wants me to have her."

"I have no clue as to why!" Nora exclaimed, anger building up in her eyes.

"Nora," I swallowed my pride. It was time things were out in the open. "Daphne is my daughter."

Silence, I expected that. It could've been worse.

"What?" George asked, puzzle lined his brow.

"Casey and I were... involved," I stated. "Why I left? She told me she was pregnant. I couldn't deal with that. So, please, let me take my daughter. I'll stop the rockstar life, I can change, for her, for Casey."

So, I was given custody of Daphne. I told interviewers that she was the daughter of a girl I got pregnant in high school and recently found out about. Her mother died and I agreed to take care of her.

_Can he do it? Is this sexy, rawkstar able to raise a child? What about the rumor drug addictions? Is he capable of such a challenge? We all saw this coming... _and so on and so forth. I did quit the drugs and I did stop going to parties. I would show the world, my family, and myself that I could this. At least no news was out that my newly found daughter was my step-sister's as well.

Lizzie and I had a relationship and she helped me with Daphne, she was more than pleased too. She liked the lifestyle of being a star's girlfriend. The perks, the free things, everything. Lizzie was bit material, but I figured she'd turn out as much. I wondered if it just because she felt in Casey's shadow most of her life. Lizzie was no longer the tomboy I had grew up with, she was something entirely new. Lizzie also lied to everyone and told them that we had no relation, we didn't, we weren't related, but it would be looked down at in any society. Except maybe some ancient one, oh, I didn't care.

As the months passed I fell in love with Lizzie. Not because she reminded me of Casey, but because she was a beautiful, sweet, caring girl. I admired the way she took care of Daphne, Naut Liz, was what Daphne called her. I tried to explaine to Daphne I was her daddy, but she still called me Eck-Eck. Derek, Eck-Eck, it was cute. I wanted her to know me as daddy, her father. It would take a while, she constantly asked where mommy was, and it panged my heart, because I knew Casey would never be coming back.

I wished I could've spent those last few years with her, I wish I cherished her and I wish that I helped raise out child. If I had, things could've been different. I wish I never got involved with cocaine. I wished George never laid eyes on Nora. ...but life spins in a different path then what we'd like it too. I had to take life the way it came. I'd look over at Lizzie and give her the love I wished I could have given Casey.


	13. What I Did

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Author's Note:** This is the last chapter and its very short, sadly. I'd've made it longer, but I think it sums up everything, and there's not much more I could've added.

**Chapter Thirteen**

Now, I'm twenty-six. I'm happily married to one Lizzie MacDonald, now Lizzie Venturi. I'm still in my band, and we're still on top of the world. Daphne is seven and a half, and I have two more lovely, daughters. Magedelena and Isabelle, they're twins, and only a few years old. I've spun my life in a different direction. I won't lie, I am extremely happy. ...but my mind often drifts off to Casey. I go with my family and we visit her gravesite on her birthday and on Daphne's.

I miss Casey. One should never have to die so young and on such terrible terms.

So, that's where I am now, on Casey's what would be twenty-sixth birthday. My heart is pounding in my chest. How long have I been standing there? I could almost feel the hard Earth pounding beneath my feet. It had been my fault, all my fault and I would never let myself live it down. I had to live with it every day, and sadly, because it was my fault, my mistake. Casey had died, because of me? I had hurt her so bad. Everytime I saw her grave, I cried. Not just for her, for me, our family, our daughter, and how much her life could've been different.

Daphne laid a single rose by Casey's tombstone. My heart went out to her and she grabbed my hand. "For mommy," she said, quietly.

"For mommy," I repeated.

Lizzie wiped a tear from her eye and looked down at the ground. They had been best friends, long ago. I chewed on my lip.

I thought back on my record deal, that I did for fame and fortune.

I thought about my gigs and my struggle to the top, that I did for glory and success.

I thought about how much of a player I had once been and the parties, that I did for fun.

I thought about the drugs, that I did for distraction.

None of this would've ever happened if it hadn't been for Casey. I smirked, I wish she were still here. I think we all needed her. It meant something to me, something big that she called me before she killed herself. Was I the last thing on her mind? Did she regret me? I inhaled sharply and squeezed Daphne's hand.

I may've ruined Casey's life, but she made mine worth living, even in death.

I looked over at Lizzie holding tightly onto Maggie and Belle and then I glanced down at little Daphne, she stared up into my eyes and smiled. I smiled back and then though, this, this is what I did for love.

Fin.


End file.
